My way....

Lately my mind has been on the song "My Way" by Frank Sinatra, and the Burger King jingle from decades ago, "Have it your way at Burger King".  And it puzzled me.  For the last several days I couldn't put my finger on why these two common ideas were consuming me.  And then it hit me just a day or so ago: these musical tunes were in my conscience because I've decided that in 2014, I want to do things, well, my way.

The first thing is career related.  I have previously shared that I was let go from my employer of 30 years in early December, and I've been going through the process of fine-tuning a resume, and sending out emails, and phone calls and phone interviews, and a few informative and relaxing face to face interviews.  All of which have kept me hopeful that I'll gain employment soon.  A couple of those interviews made me think, though, of not just trying to get a position similar to what I have been doing.  But I have been thinking that now is the time for me to do things "my way".  I've been in printing for 30 years, many of those in production. And I have found that sometimes I have thought "there's a better way to do this" or "we should do it this way", or even "no, we should not do it that way."  I've never expressed those verbally, but lately, as I've met some prospective employers, I sometimes hear "we don't have an SOP for that", or "we don't have someone that's in charge."  And that has gotten me to thinking.  I look at some colleagues of mine from my previous employer that have taken opportunities and are now VP's of production at large printing companies.  They've taken the risks, along with the headaches, and have moved up in the industry.  Maybe it's time for me to take that risk, and put myself in a position of management, and impress my ideas and work ethic on a team of print experts and collaborators.  Maybe I should do it my way for a change.

The other thing is something that I am slowly developing.  I've been in choral music for years, singing in youth choirs, adult choirs, and professional choirs.  I've seen a great deal and learned from two very fine choral directors.  I've listened to countless hours of choral music.  And lately, as I've sung in a couple of church choirs and community choruses, I've become aware that I am no longer satisfied just singing.  I want to direct.  There is no ego involved in this.  It is not a power thing, or the desire for kudos from a congregation or an audience. I want to direct, because for the last few years now when I hear a choir sing, or I sit in rehearsal, I find that I want to do it differently than the director.  I want to do this or that, or bring that line out, or take a little bit more time with the entrance or a specific phrase.  I want the sound to be just so.  I want the cut offs to be here, not there.  I hear in my head what I want it to sound like.  I want to work on the sound of the singers, to get a unified, blended sound.  I want to work on pitch and intonation.  I want to work on music that I have a passion for, not necessarily what the director wants to work on, or what the director has their passion for. As a singer in a choir, I feel bound to interpret as the director wants.  But that is no longer satisfactory.  I want to do it my way.

And so this year, 2014, I want to be none as the year I did things my way.