The Journey Continues: Help My Unbelief
Recently, my wife went in for a surgical procedure on her back that didn't help. Instead, it increased the intensity of her back pain, consistently at a 10 out of 10 daily, from the moment she awoke until she went to bed. In faith I reached out to a local Lutheran pastor who came in, anointed her with oil, and prayed with her. The next day she awoke, in much, much less pain, and knew that she had been healed. She believes she was healed as promised in scripture, when in James' epistle, he encouraged those who were sick to "call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over [them], anointing [them] with oil in the name of the Lord" (James 5:14b, ESV) While she is still feeling the effects of the fractured back from her fall this past June, the intense pain is gone.
I have shared before that I am reticent to ask the Lord for myself, especially when it comes to my own healing. As a man in his mid-60's, I am dealing with arthritis, which does impact the quality of life. But I also have bladder cancer. It's taken me a while to be able to pray for my own healing, always appending it with "if it is your will, God."
But lately, when faced with the reality of my wife's miraculous healing, and her certainty that it was because of faith, I have questioned whether I myself have the faith to really BELIEVE that God can and will heal me of my cancer. I pray and ask God, but now I wonder if I am really believing it: do I have the faith that my wife has that I too could be healed as the apostle James wrote in his epistle?
I can relate to that father who brings his son to Jesus, as Mark shared in his Gospel. I pray, believing that God can and will heal me of the cancer (and I toss in the arthritis, just to see if I can get a 2-for-1 deal). But there is still that nagging bit of unbelief: even though this man undoubtedly saw Jesus healing others, and I can bear witness to my own wife's healing, there still is that slight bit of unbelief.
Father, in your gracious will, heal me of my cancer. And help me with my unbelief, just as that man came to your Son and confessed his unbelief. Your son healed the man's son, so I believe that you can - and will - heal me.
Soli Deo Gloria
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