Monday, December 16, 2013

Surreal, but....nice

How many of you have watched that opening scene from "Notting Hill", where Hugh Grant's character shyly and awkwardly invites Julia Robert's character over to his flat? There are many wonderful lines from that scene, but the best is "Surreal, but....nice."

I'm in a "surreal but nice" mindset right now.  It has been two weeks to the day that my employer of 30 years sat me down in his office and, with great emotion in his voice, told me that they had to let me go.  I certainly did NOT expect EVER to hear that, so I really had no strong emotions that day.  In fact, since then, the overriding thought or feeling I've had is that it didn't happen.  I don't "feel" unemployed.  Yes, I've applied for unemployment.  Yes, I received that last check.  Yes, I've had a couple of phone interviews and have sat down with a prospective employer.  But still, I just wake up in the mornings and think it's simply a vacation.  I still cannot get my mind wrapped around the fact that I'm no longer employed.  And not just that I'm no longer employed, but that I'm no longer with the same company I'd been with for 30 years!  The company that I grew up with.  The company that has been a 2nd home.  Every once in a while I think about the next few months and get a bit scared, but I think that whole fear is being kept in check with this false idea that I'm due back at work after Christmas, or something like that.  It's surreal.

There is also another surrealism going on here, and that is that our house is not decorated for Christmas.  That's not by choice.  You'd think with me being unemployed that we'd have all the time in the world to do this.  But frankly I've been tasking on resume writing, phone calls, emails, research - all to do with getting a job.  Then there's the kid's schoolwork and practicing.  I've been staying on top of them, getting them up in the mornings, getting their breakfasts, making sure they have a schedule.  We've also had things going on every weekend, with a church concert that Lorrie and Audrey were in, to the kid's recital yesterday.  Then, thankfully, Lorrie's been busy with photographic work.  She's had photo sessions, photo editing, album orders to construct and place.  And since she's the major driver of our decorating (and since I don't do any major decorating since she's particular about where things go!), I just haven't taken on the job of doing it myself.

So, it's a bit of a surreal time right now.  Not busy, but just - well, odd.

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