The Journey........
There are so many metaphors that echo life as a journey, with Robert Frost's famous poem "The Road Not Taken" being among them (and here's a link to a blog post that I wrote about that poem). Songs such as Jackson Browne's "Running on Empty", or the famous Eagles' song "Take it Easy" dwell on the theme of the open road. And, without going into a long list, I'm sure that there are countless other songs that speak of life's journey, and the open road as a metaphor.
In discovering that my life in the past few years has been a journey, I've discovered much about myself. Let's face it, when you go through a divorce, there is a great deal of self discovery, and even self doubt. You tend to focus on what is really important, and take yourself much less seriously. You appreciate good relationships, and strive to encourage those relationships to grow. And you allow yourself to be surprised by the serendipitous moment, and not plan everything out to the last detail.
Now, that final one was a big area of change for me. I had, for most of my life, been a planner. I rarely did anything without it being planned out. And if something sprung up on me, I would push it away because I hadn't planned on it. I was also too much into making sure everything was perfect, and I fussed too much over the little things. Oh, sure, my kids might tell you I haven't changed, but then if pressed, they would say I have, to a degree.
But even a degree of change is good. And in allowing myself to enjoy the moment more, to embrace change, to give myself the opportunity for the serendipitous moment, I have found more joy, more peace, more contentment, and a great deal more of a focus on God, and my relationship to Him. I have read more books in the last 12 months than I perhaps have read in the last 12 years. I have sat out back and listened to the backyard waterfall - while doing nothing - more than I ever had before. And how often, now, do I clean house? Maybe once a month. And the yard? Well, except for the area near the pond, other than mowing the lawns, I let it go.
Now, this may sound like an overused cliché, but I have found my partner through this journey. When I divorced I knew I wanted to date, but I also knew that I had to allow for the Good Lord to work His will in that part of my journey. I had no agenda. I had no expectations. And I had no firm thoughts that I would ever even marry again. And the more I "found myself" again, the more I felt assured that I would remain single. Yet I held out the hope that someday, God would bring someone into my life that I could love totally and be loved by totally.
Today, I write this as one that loves a woman with all my being, and I know loves me with the same depth of love that I have for her. She is kind, compassionate, self-assured, and a woman of deep faith. We both acknowledge that what we have is unique to us, but even more, is new for us. We are both feeling and experiencing emotions and thoughts, as well as affections, that we'd never felt in a relationship before. And we are both very sure that we were brought together by God, and that we are, in the other, exactly what we'd always wanted with a partner, a companion, and someone with whom we can share our journey together.
In discovering that my life in the past few years has been a journey, I've discovered much about myself. Let's face it, when you go through a divorce, there is a great deal of self discovery, and even self doubt. You tend to focus on what is really important, and take yourself much less seriously. You appreciate good relationships, and strive to encourage those relationships to grow. And you allow yourself to be surprised by the serendipitous moment, and not plan everything out to the last detail.
Now, that final one was a big area of change for me. I had, for most of my life, been a planner. I rarely did anything without it being planned out. And if something sprung up on me, I would push it away because I hadn't planned on it. I was also too much into making sure everything was perfect, and I fussed too much over the little things. Oh, sure, my kids might tell you I haven't changed, but then if pressed, they would say I have, to a degree.
But even a degree of change is good. And in allowing myself to enjoy the moment more, to embrace change, to give myself the opportunity for the serendipitous moment, I have found more joy, more peace, more contentment, and a great deal more of a focus on God, and my relationship to Him. I have read more books in the last 12 months than I perhaps have read in the last 12 years. I have sat out back and listened to the backyard waterfall - while doing nothing - more than I ever had before. And how often, now, do I clean house? Maybe once a month. And the yard? Well, except for the area near the pond, other than mowing the lawns, I let it go.
Now, this may sound like an overused cliché, but I have found my partner through this journey. When I divorced I knew I wanted to date, but I also knew that I had to allow for the Good Lord to work His will in that part of my journey. I had no agenda. I had no expectations. And I had no firm thoughts that I would ever even marry again. And the more I "found myself" again, the more I felt assured that I would remain single. Yet I held out the hope that someday, God would bring someone into my life that I could love totally and be loved by totally.
Today, I write this as one that loves a woman with all my being, and I know loves me with the same depth of love that I have for her. She is kind, compassionate, self-assured, and a woman of deep faith. We both acknowledge that what we have is unique to us, but even more, is new for us. We are both feeling and experiencing emotions and thoughts, as well as affections, that we'd never felt in a relationship before. And we are both very sure that we were brought together by God, and that we are, in the other, exactly what we'd always wanted with a partner, a companion, and someone with whom we can share our journey together.
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| Brenda and I alongside Rush Creek, October 2019 |
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