Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Time for an update

OK. Another update. Things change. The buyers of our house backed out, and when I looked at what we'd be paying for property taxes, it became impractical to purchase the other home. So, we're doing our "Home Improvement" projects - tearing up carpet and getting to the hardwood, new bathroom fixtures, a few changes in the kids' rooms, stuff like that.

Lately, I've been having that recurring feeling that I need to change. Perhaps it's the proverbial "mid-life crisis", but I think it might be more than that. I just wish I could quit, and do the things with my life I want to do: write; do photography; spend time with the kids; read; watch good movies; time with Lorrie; time by myself - all things some might consider "leisure", but to me are things important to living. As much as being married and having a family is an important part of my life and identity, the life I had BEFORE that was wonderful. I was singing in one of the finest professional choruses in the country. I was travelling and doing my photography, and feeling that I was on the way to at least a profitable hobby as a photographer. Finally, I feel that that last year before I started dating my wife was such a wonderful time filled with reading, listening and performing music, travelling and seeing. A wonderful time for my soul. I miss that.

But yet, I look at the kids. They are miracles. And Lorrie is not just my wife, but my best friend (one who tells me that my shit stinks when it truly does!). This life is wonderful too. But I'd love to be able to augment it with the artistic life I once had.


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