What to pray when you cannot pray

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God." - Romans 8:26-27 ESV

In my high school and college years I studied to be an organist. I listened to organ recordings, practiced on a small church organ at home, and on a few occasions, substituted for our organist at church. I loved the music: rich and complex, full of color and brilliance. For me, organ music also had depth: it evoked feelings, and a sense of reverence. It also represented in music the words and thoughts I could not express.

There is a piece of organ music written by a 20th century French composer, Jehan Alain (1911-1940), titled "Litanies". It is a frenetic piece of music, with agitated hand movements and rapid changes of color and tone. It ends on a chord that does nothing to satisfy or console. Alain himself inscribed on the work the words "When the Christian soul is in distress and cannot find any fresh words to implore God’s mercy, it repeats the same prayer unceasingly with overwhelming faith. The limit of reason is past. It is faith alone which propels its ascent."

Do you ever get to a point in your daily prayers where you feel that way? I do, and I have, lately. There are times when I feel that my prayer well is dry, that there are no words left to pray. At those times, all my prayers and praying feel like the dryness of a desert that I am dragging myself through, not knowing when or if I will ever find water. My prayers feel empty, and at times, all I can say is "Father, I don't know what to pray for."

It is those times that I reflect upon Romans 8:26-27. It's not easy to just not pray. But the knowledge that while my words are dry, my soul, through The Spirit, continues to make supplications to God on my behalf, is such a comforting thought. Like Alain's "Litanies", my prayers may be frenetic or dissonant. But I know that The Spirit is filling my prayers with heartfelt requests and praise.