Happy. Joyful. Content

What makes you happy? What gives you joy? What makes you content?

Over these past few years I've flitted through these emotions. I've experienced joy in returning to my passions of singing and photography. I've been content with who I was, and what I was experiencing in life. Happy? Well, that emotion was more elusive - harder to pin down. 

I've never believed that you must depend on others to bring to you one (if not all) of those three emotions. I've been content in my life many times before, mostly when I was doing things that gave me a sense of purpose beyond the daily grind of life. It was I who was providing myself with contentment and joy. But happiness - well, that still eluded me.

Websters defines happy as "enjoying or characterized by well-being and contentment". That's a pretty broad definition, almost to the point of being ambiguous. And of all three of these emotions, I think we can derive happiness from others. There is definitely a happiness that occurs when two individuals find love and fulfillment in a relationship. More than once my wife and I have had friends comment either in person or on social media that we "look happy". That makes me wonder: how do you "look" happy? What does one see in someone else that encourages them to say "you look happy"? 

Joy. That is another elusive emotion, and Websters defines that as "a state of happiness (there's that word again) or felicity". Now, of course, we have to define felicity, which has more than one definition that we could look at. First there's "the quality or state of being happy", and then there's "something that causes happiness". For me, joy is both an internal and external force. Internal in that when I'm reading, writing, listening to music, doing photography in God's Creation - all of those things bring joy to me and create a sense of joy within me. Joy to me can also be a state of being. Years ago I read a book as a youth titled "Come Share the Being", which evoked feelings of Joy that Christians can have when they are in a relationship with a living and dynamic God. But I also find joy in people, and particularly my wife, who seems to exude joy. And that's a joy that we do derive from others, but it's a joy that extends out from them like rays of sun on an early dawn. Joy that washes us, and makes us feel good - good in who we are, and good in the company of someone whose very being lightens up a room.

Finally, contentment, or as Websters defines it "feeling or showing satisfaction with ones possessions, status or situation". That definition actually sounds cold, even selfish. I don't think of contentment as it relates to possessions or status. In fact, those two attributes are ones that, if I were to strive for possessions or status, would not bring contentment. 

No.

In fact, for me, contentment is something elusive, and is tied to that last attribute: situation. And in these last few years, despite all that I have gone through on my journey, I have felt joy, and contentment. I would have to agree with the quote in the image that accompanies this blog post: "Contentment is being happy with who you are, with the people in our lives, and with our life situation", Michael McGee. 

The thing about being content is that it tends to feed upon itself. I believe when you are content as McGee defines it above - being happy with who you are - that level of contentment brings contentment in other aspects of your life. So when you find yourself content in one area of your life, that contentment permeates other areas of your life. Your family notices it. Your spouse notices it. Coworkers and friends notice it. And invariably they will say "I've never seen you look happier". 

To close this post, though, I want to share with you a moment of absolute contentment that I recently experienced. It was Saturday morning, and Brenda and I were in bed, when her daughter's dog, Weaver, joined us. At first he rested himself on my chest, but then he crawled over me and got between us, which he does any time we're seated together. Weaver truly loves to be with us. And in that moment I felt an overwhelming sense of contentment, unlike I've ever felt before. To be with my beloved and a trusting pet joined us - I was struck at how content I was in that moment. 

Happiness. Joy. Contentment. Yes, we can derive those from other people and life experiences. But more importantly, can we create those in ourselves, and from those, shower others with a sense of happiness, a sense of joy, and a sense of contentment.